I Might Be Losing It, But Splatoon 2's Salmon Run Schedule Is…Fine?

I don’t know if this is some weird digital version of Stockholm Syndrome, or my trying to rationalize a Nintendo-ass decision about multiplayer. Whatever is going on, I’m surprised to report that I’ve started to like the way Salmon Run is only available during certain block schedules.

From what I’ve seen online, most Splatoon players seem to hate the schedule, and I get it. At launch, Salmon Run seemed to only be around for a few hours at a time. Later, blocks started extending into 12-hour chunks, but it’s still pretty unusual to have a popular game mode be restricted to certain times of the day.

Salmon Run, as many of you know, is Splatoon 2's addictive take on Horde Mode. You play as a freelancer who is being paid to retrieve salmon eggs from increasingly larger waves of mutant fish. The more eggs you collect above your set quota, the more points you earn and the higher you elevate your pay grade. The whole thing pokes fun at corporations and the ways in which they exploit workers for personal gain—you are, after all, trudging through toxic waste here.

Salmon Run is so fantastic that lately I’ve been playing it way more than PVP multiplayer. Actually, I’m obsessed with it. This is literally me right now. Really, this is me all the time now:

The thing that makes Salmon Run so good is that the mode cuts out the fat: each round only lasts 100 seconds. Once you go beyond the first pay grade, things in Salmon Run become hectic almost immediately, with mini-bosses and endless smaller minions gumming up the stage right away. That, coupled with all the different variants, makes the mode feel dynamic and exciting. Even if you’ve played on the same map for hours, rounds will unfold in surprising ways. Maybe one round you’ve got access to big power weapons stationed around the map. Maybe another round, the map overflows with a borderline overwhelming number of small enemies—and tons of eggs.

 

Salmon Run is so fantastic that lately I’ve been playing it way more than PVP multiplayer. Actually, I’m obsessed with it. This is literally me right now. Really, this is me all the time now: